1. The timing of you needing “space” and engaging with him seemed to coincide a little too closely.
    

2. You honestly or otherwise saw nothing wrong with engaging with him without my knowledge and it didn’t come to light until after you were called out.
    

3. Once I learned about the engagement, you continued to not only correspond with him, but opted to move in with him as well. From my best estimations you were corresponding and/or living with him for at minimum 213 days: June 2019 – December 2019 or roughly seven months.
    

4. You are asking me to believe your every word despite your countless actions that spoke otherwise and what I’ve heard from others as well.
    

5. You had dozens, if not hundreds of other opportunities to end communication with him, but you continued to do so despite my multiple objections.
    

6. When I drove to your house (on Borst) with three dozen roses and Starbucks, you could have told the authorities there were no issues – the officers even indicated that you were in a relationship with Jason.
    

7. On two separate occasions when I stopped by to see you – I specifically asked for a hug or kiss, yet you denied me each time as he was also there.  If you were only friends, there should be no reason you could not have displayed even an ounce of affection - despite being only “friends” he never once attempted to speak to or contact me and I apparently was not allowed to visit under any circumstances.
    

8. Over ten months later, you still hold the keys to the house on Borst and have not even attempted to pick-up the remaining items there.
    

9. Nearly everything that I “caught” you doing was (in your terms) the first or only time it ever happened. IE: Going to the store, attending family events, creating secondary FB profile reflecting your updated relationship status. He even drove you to get your bracelet off in Olympia or similar - you purchased two concert tickets to HIS favorite artist, you had a folder in your gmail account for Christmas gifts which included things that were purchased for him or his kids. You even once picked up most, if not all of your make-up to help his daughter.
    

10. My love and trust in you run parallel and by making the decisions you did have made it even more difficult to believe you, but also love you as well. I deserve to be with somebody who will not simply run away when a relationship gets hard, but rather work on the issues and not into the arms of someone else.
     

11. You made a “mistake” TWICE when referring to him as your boyfriend. Once when I initially found out about your extramarital tryst and again when you both willfully decided to update your relationship status on Facebook - according to you, this Facebook status was only posted for roughly 24 hours, yet over 300 of your “friends” accepted – well over a dozen also congratulated you on your new relationship with Jason. Within minutes of me confronting you on your Facebook profile, Jason posted a middle-finger which was obviously directed at me. 
     

12. Prior to you engaging with Jason, I had asked you several times over the years to renew our vows and you continued to shoot me down (stating it should be a significant milestone); however, upon returning not only did we purchase a new wedding set and new home but you then seemed more interested in renewing our vows – almost as if it was a means to put your illicit past behind you.  While I may fully forgive you someday, will never forget.
     

13. Because of your past choices, I now question every phone call, every text and worry every time you leave the house on your own. You have given me every reason to distrust you based on your history.  Your explanations and excuses will never outweigh your past actions.
     

14. While living with Jason you asked me several times to quit writing poetry to / about you.  This is in direct contradiction to the actions of somebody who “wants to work things out”.
     

15. In the past, I’ve spoken with others about their opinions on how I should move forward. Responses are generally the same:  You’ve won – stop bringing up the past.  You see, I don’t view it like I won.  Actually, I lost.

    1. I lost the moment that you decided to exchange contact details upon running into each other.

    2. I lost the moment that you were exchanging in secret text messages and phone calls.

    3. I lost the moment you got into your jeep to go see him privately without my knowledge.

    4. I lost the moment that you decided to continue engaging with him the moment I found out.

    5. I lost the moment you choose to become “roommates” with another man, yet wanted the security of our joint bank accounts.

    6. I lost the moment that you referenced him as your boyfriend TWICE.

    7. I lost the moment that you chose him over me and our children
        

Trust in a relationship is just as important as the love between two people. Not only did you fracture my trust, but each night you weren’t by my side, I too often wondered what you were doing to or with him.  Those moments of intimacy were supposed to be between only you and me and have forever been tarnished because you made a series of horrible choices that will impact me for the rest of my life.

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